There may be swearage. Sorry. It’s not intentional. If some small part of swearage should slip out, it is wholly accidental and I apologise for it in advance. You know. On the off chance. Just in case.
What the bloody hell is all this Halloween nonsense?
When I was a child my siblings and I scared the living crap out of each other by, erm, being very scary and then we did apple bobbing. And then we went to bed and had a mostly sleepless night punctuated by howling nightmares.
And it never did me any harm.
These days we have little thugs trying to extract money/goods through menace for up to two weeks before 31st October and we appear to tolerate it?
Wake up, people!
Also, there was some utter twonk on the television this morning (it was ITV so there were twonks aplenty) who described Halloween as – and I quote – ‘a holiday’.
What?
We get a paid day off for Halloween?
When did that happen?
Oh.
It hasn’t happened has it?
So that means…
IT’S NOT A FUCKING HOLIDAY.
Speaking of twunts on the television.
Earlier this evening I was unfortunate enough to catch a few minutes of something called ‘ITV At The Movies’.
I’ll let the hideous title slip past my critical gaze for I have a larger target in the crosshairs.
The few minutes of the show, billed as a ‘film review’ programme, that we did watch, didn’t consist of one atom of in-depth film critique.
Instead, we were served with a sickeningly sycophantic portion of regurgitated PR puffery with a side order of some two-star arse kissing.
But that’s not why I hurled the remote at the television.
This is why I did…
And please bear in mind this is ‘ITV At The Movies’, a film review show, OK?
A member of staff of said show – the unfortunately named Lizzie Cunty Cundy – was interviewing the Australia-born film director, screenwriter and producer, Mark Anthony ‘Baz’ Luhrmann.
The topic was Luhrmann’s film ‘Moulin Rouge’ and Lizzie whatserface said, and I quote again, ‘When I watched the movie, there were so many scenes and so much action.’
Because you wouldn’t ordinarily expect ‘so many scenes’ in a feature film, would you?
*head-desk, head-desk, head-desk, head-desk*
Anyway, in other news…
I’ve been doing the video thing again.
But this time I’m working on a cure to the noticeable ‘bleaching’ that has happened in the previous experiments.
So I give you…
This 47-second clip of how Sky satellite installers drive their vans on the A449 in Worcestershire on Sunday mornings:
And this 3m 8s clip of the drive from the top of Fish Hill down towards Broadway in Gloucestershire.
Beautiful colours!
But I hope you’ll see that I’m on to fixing the bleaching issue:
Grrr… don’t get me started on Hallo-fucking-ween!
I had two kids knock on the door last ni….. no, I said don’t get me started!
Bloody tricky bloody treaty.
The American definition for holiday is arguably more correct and does apply to Halloween – namely, it is a holy day. Is ITV an American station broadcasting to Americans, perhaps?
Love the Fish Hill video. Excellent quality. Some slight bleaching, but very watchable and, yes, lovely colours.
I’ve had more than one squeaky bum moment on that bit of road over the years.
Halloween sucks arse in a massive fashion.
I forgot what a great word “twonk” is. Thanks B for a smile this morning.
Ah, a fine display of weaving from the Sky man there. Well done him.
Halloween sucks. Big time. A fucking tenner on fun sized chocolate bars and sweets so that some pint-sized chubsters that I don’t see from one year’s end to the next can ring my doorbell, drive my dog up the wall and help themselves. This year I had a blistering hangover and got into a row with some gobby parent in my doorway after her little darling took a handful of about 7 chocolate bars and got told in no uncertain terms than the deal is one per child. “Er, ‘ee can ‘ave whatever ‘ee wants”. In your house perhaps but this isn’t your house, it’s mine. And looking at the little sod, you need to be encouraging him to step away from the saturated fat and towards the celery. Now fuck off all of you so I can go back to my crap telly and wondering why I still haven’t learned when to stop drinking.
Next year I’m going to sellotape up the letterbox and go away for the weekend of halloween.
Masher; you’re going to have to let it out. Share.
Allister; I don’t care about the American definition. I don’t live there. ITV is the UK’s national commercial television broadcaster. Gorgeous colours coming down that hill.
Gumpher; I like what they have been doing with the A449 heading northwards from Worcester. But unfortunately the people in those parts seem to have learned their driving skills on a different planet.
Soupy; for you, anything, anytime.
Vicola; we were away for the evening, being in the wilds of barely anywhere, so we missed any callers to the house. Sadly. You know. I was upset that we didn’t get back in time because I wanted to see facial reactions to the pot of boiling oil that was set to pour down when the doorbell was activated.
I love driving up and down that hill, in fact the whole run from Burford to their makes for a great blat.
Halloween is a complete pain in the proverbial. Though I found this year that two dogs barking at the front door is a very useful deterrent.
Perp; I used to sling one of these up and down that hill fairly regularly: