Yes indeed, The House of Big Fun is open for business again!
You know I like lists, don’t you?
Well, so far this evening I’ve:
1. booted up my old laptop (that took an hour)
2. had a shower (while 1. was going on)
3. taken my newly purchased bathroom stuff/toiletries goodies for the house in London upstairs (while 1. was still going on)
4. watched a bunch of truly awful, pretentious people on C4 cooking for each other (while 1. was still going on). More on this later
5. subscribed to DK’s Bitterest Pill premium podcast service (Danny boy… it had better be worth it!)
6. tried and miserably failed to convert file formats on the old laptop
7. glugged down half a gallon of squash (I could be cutting a path in the bathroom carpet through to the bathroom tonight!)
8. tidied up a little bit of work
What remains in store for the House of Big Fun this evening?
Hmmm… [thinks for a moment]
I predict an early night with a good book and Big Brother 9 in the background – and maybe some iPoddery in a podcast sort of way.
The Big Brother is compulsory. I want to watch that truly hateful (almost) human being Alex de Gale get booted off the programme for threatening her housemates with Gangsta friends if they vote her out.
What a bitch.
Hey, Alex – I’ve trodden in classier dog shit than you are.
Anyway.
A quick flip back to the truly awful, pretentious people who are still cooking for each other.
It’s a TV programme called Come Dine With Me.
The rationale is simple: four complete strangers have to cook for and entertain each other in their own homes on consecutive evenings.
At the end of each night the ‘host’ is awarded points by each ‘guest’ – the points are awarded on the menu content, food presentation, wine selection, ambience and (Ye Gods!) conversational wit, wisdom and humour.
So here’s my slant.
What one of the contestants (or even the production company!) should do on one evening is have the food – very secretly, natch – prepared and cooked by an award-winning Michelin-starred chef.
And sit back and watch people’s pretentions get demolished at the end of the evening.
Bwahahahahahaha!
Yes, sorry about that.
B.
I’d just sprinkle extra strong laxative in all the food…watch, wait and laugh.I’ve been reading too much Beano again. Cookery programmes in France are how I imagine 1950s farming documentaries were. Cow to plate in three seconds, unedited.Strong stomach and stiff drink essential.
Go easy on the squash.
Mya x
Hi Mya. Perhaps I should open that bottle of Chocolate Fudge Brownie-flavoured Frijj that’s got my name on it? 🙂
I really know how to live, eh?
Mad for it, that’s me. Completely mad for it.
And bonkers.
Wooooo!