I’m sitting at the kitchen table waiting for my freshly nuked Oatso Simple to cool to something approaching mouth-bearing temperature.
I notice the 2-pint bottle of milk I bought yesterday.
To top and label aren’t red, as I’m used to.
They’re orange.
The writing says ‘1% Fat Milk’.
I’m low on sleep so my brain turns this phrase over several times.
Is it milk for people who are 1% fat?
Or is it a product that is 1% fat?
And if the latter, where’s the other 99% of fat?
Is there, lurking somewhere on a shelf of a supermarket – known only to those ‘in the know’ – a container of milk that is ‘Full Fat Plus’?
You know, ordinary Full Fat milk plus the 99% of my own 2-pinter?
Is there a premium milk product which the fat-drinking conniseurs fawn over in the darkest moments of their top secret full-on fat-fests?
[pause whilst breakfast is eaten and tea is gulped]
OK, I’m a little more awake now.
The shower (brilliant shower!) did the best it could to shake me out of sleepydom but it didn’t quite do the trick.
But at least my head is clearer after food and drink.
Perhaps, by the time I hit the Victorial Line, I’ll be 100% awake.
Good luck people.
And hey!
Let’s be careful out there.
[cue Hill Street Blues theme]
B.
It makes me smile how similar are brains are, sometimes 🙂
Argh! Just-woken-up spelling mistakes!
I meant, of course, our brains are.
*goes and hides in a corner*
Ahh Bren, you shop in Sainsbury’s too. I’ve noticed the new orange 1% fat milk…which is conveniently placed next to the red skimmed milk which 0.1%. I have (so far) managed to not buy it by mistake so far.
I believe the answer is Cream
I got Crimewatch (which I know is Don’t have Nightmares) instead of Hill Street Blues, but that’s because i’m not old enough to have seen it.
“1% available”. That’s what my brain is labelled before my first shot of morning coffee
Why is it that here what’s most obvious on the whole milk (which has about 3 or 4% fat) has nothing to do with fat contents nor wholeness but with vitamin D? (Because people don’t like to hear about fat unless it’s reduced or absent and that milk loses its vitamin D when skimmed, alright.)
Why is it that I can never remember which of the 1% and 2% fat milk is called “low fat” and which is called “reduced fat”? And why is it that America has both these categories when in France we only have “half fat”, which is actually according to the Internets 1.5% fat?
Why is it that fat free milk tastes so much like water?
So many morning questions… (I’ve had my shower but not my coffee yet.)
Oi Lizsara! I’ll have you know that Hill Street Blues is currently enjoying a massive resurgence on Now That’s What I Call The 80s Channel 27 on your FreeSkyDigiViewBox. Oh yes!
Citronella: I think it is a context thing. Full fat milk now tastes yeurgh to me. Anyway… I guess skimmed milk is (mostly) water. 🙂
FW: At least you know you have a brain at that stage! Sometimes I’m not too sure. 🙂