No, I’m Spartacus! (11/29)

Deep in the cosy confines of Castle Jones, nestled – as it is – in the rolling Oxfordshire countryside, fundamental changes are being made.

No, these changes are nothing to do with Esmerelda, the dusky (and ever bikini-clad) cleaning lady, who pops in thrice a week to sort me out.

Also no, these changes are unrelated to the indoor gardening arrangement I have with Debbie, the luscious single-mum from down the road, who insists on tending to my growth with such regular devotion.

And nor are these changes anything to do with young Phoebe, who insists on saddle-soaping and oiling my tack once a week, in her underwear.

These things are far more fundamental.

For years now, the dirtier, the seamier side of life in Castle Jones has been ably taken care of by….

Henry

But Henry has gone to a new home. Last night he departed with the STBEW, to help keep her little flat dust-free.

So I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Castle Jones’ latest recruit, to line up and join the ranks of Esmerelda, Debbie and Phoebie…

Henry II