Twitter (no matter how you feel about it) is a medium for good and bad.
Yes, utter morons like Piers Morgan spout their meaningless gibberish to an incomprehensibly large readership.
And yes, there are mentally challenged people like that guy who said evil things to the diver (I’m a little tired, just nod and say ‘yes, I know who you mean’).
But, idiots like these aside (and there are many idiots like these out there), there are many good people.
Sensible, wise, educated, erudite…
I am, obviously, none of these.
I am, occasionally, funny.
More on this in a moment.
But the thing that makes Twitter really work (instead of being a pale parody of itself, as Piers Moron uses it), is to follow back all of the people you follow.
It is, after all, a *social* network.
And when you follow all of your followers, you build up a rapport with them.
And occasionally you meet them.
So this Saturday I’m going to Aston le Walls for Pimm’s, pasties and ponies.
All organised via Twitter; through people I follow/who follow me.
It’s nice.
Anyway, back to the funnies.
Here’s just a selection of my funniest Tweets during the last 48 hours:
- I have to spend all day in Swindon tomorrow. It’s a bit like community service.
- My neighbour has just gone to Brecon Jazz Festival. Didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s about music.
- I’ve sat on this couch and watched so much of the Olympics that I’ve got athletes bum.
- If lady boxing is the official title of boxing sport for ladies, I can’t wait for the introduction of gardening sport for ladies.
- Just imagine how riotously funny the Dressage TV commentary would be if it was hosted by Ant and Dec.
- The dressage will now have a 10-minute break for a course walk. (Eventers joke)
- Just bought a lottery ticket. Because it’s £148m and that would buy a lot of chocolate and ponies and unicorns and stuff.
- Sorry, I’ve been out of the loop on this and I’m just catching up. So Fern Britton is pregnant and Jessie J is the father?
- This is my 42,000th Tweet. It’s a significant milestone in David Cameron’s shining political career. Oh. Wait.
- Hahaha! London Southend airport. You may as well rename Kidlington airport as London Oxford airport. Oh. Wait…
- Only just realised that Fence One of the Olympic SJ is not a rustic obstacle (another Eventers joke)
- I did not just spend an entire meeting considering driving into town to hit Greggs for three vegetable pasties.
See what you’re missing?
Or maybe not.