Advertising sux

‘The stars reveal the secrets of their hair care colour‘ says the advert for hair colour products.

What? FFS! Which planet do the people who dream up this kind of wordage come from?

And do you know when this amazing piece of spoken English happened on my television?

09.15, Sunday, Channel 4.

Which is definitely the time of day – and day – when the Great British Consumerist Public is flipping on their television sets and tuning them to C4 in an attempt to answer the question, ‘I wonder what the hair care colour secrets of the stars are?‘

And as if that’s not bad enough, there’s the Baz & Nicole advert of glossiness with the immortal line ‘You must be there, tomorrow’ being delivered over big music and flashlights and… Remind me, what exactly is the product that this is advertising?

And when and where did this masterpiece of understatement occur?

Yep, 09.31, Sunday, Channel 4.

So the weirdness comes in three flavours.

Weirdness flavour 1:
That people are paid good money to come up with this load of old bollocks

Weirdness flavour 2:
That other people think this is good advertising copy

Weirdness flavour 3:
That people who buy advertising time think that the audience for ‘Friends‘ is also the audience for these adverts.

Oh yes, just saw a classic piece of advertising bullshite on, erm, C4 at 09.34 on Sunday morning…

Ewan McGregor advertising his new scent: Arrogance.

B.