Such was the standard of Guillermo del Toro’s latest ‘humans v aliens’ film, that it has taken me over a week to find the right words to match Pacific Rim.
I feel it is safe to say that no matter how much SciFi (from all sub-genres of the category) one likes, and no matter how much film-watching one does (and I do a lot of it, obv), one will find it incredibly difficult to find a film (past, present, or future), to match Pacific Rim.
PacRim (to give it the shortened pre-prod title the creatives in Hollywood used) has more structural issues than a bridge that has fallen down.
The plot has more holes than a flimsy, transparent thing with holes in it.
And the writing struggles – but fails – to achieve the lofty heights of literary awfulness that the very worst work of Jeffrey Archer attains.
Pacific Rim is the single largest serving of shit (with a double side order of shit, and with a small portion of extra shit), that it has been my misfortune to ever see.
I resisted the ‘get the fuck out of this cinema now’ urge five times and yet, even a week later, I’m trying to figure out why I stuck it out.
It was screamingly obvious from very early on that the film was an embarrassment to the viewing public.
Unfortunately Pacific Rim just kept getting worse.
And worse.
And even worse.
Boiled down to its component parts, Pacific Rim is an overlong, badly constructed film about giant robots hitting giant aliens.
The end.
I will be keeping an eye on the trade publications, eagerly waiting for the news that the Cinema Viewers Association has launched a class action against the production companies who put this rubbish out.
I have seen excellent films. I have seen good films. I have seen average films. I have seen lacklustre, disappointing and awful films.
I have never seen a film that is lacklustre, disappointing and awful in one package.
Until now.
The advertising strapline of Pacific Rim is: To Fight Monsters, We Created Monsters.
Yep.
PacRim is a monster of a film – and not in a good way.
Pacific Rim: 1/10
As this was just about the only film showing at the fleapit in Torquay last week, I toyed with the idea of going to see it, despite having already been put off by the trailers.
In the end, I decided it was too hot to venture outside and instead I spent my time in the air-conditioned coolness of my hotel room, drinking tea and watching Jack Bauer do his thing (I’ve just started Season 7).
Interestingly, did you know there is a parody production to this awful film? Released last month on DVD, I saw it in Sainsbury’s for just 3 quid. The plot appears to be much the same, but even at three quid I decided to steer clear. Who knows though, it probably can’t be any worse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantic_Rim_(film)
I didn’t know about Altantic Rim, cheers for that. I’m going to get hold of a copy.
Pacific Rim is so dull I actually dozed off – during one of the action sequences – for a few minutes. The story is unbelievably clunky. And unbelievable.