Equality for dogs! And snakes! (on a plane?)

Long-term readers will know that I’m not a cat person.

Oh, I know they have their uses, and that these include such worthwhile behaviours as:

• Patrolling in your garden, yowling loudly at 2am
• Crapping in your garden even if they belong to somebody else
• Patrolling in your garden, yowling loudly at 3am
• Slaughtering wildlife and leaving things like bird spleens exactly where you’re going to tread on them
• Patrolling in your garden, yowling loudly at 4am

Valuable though these things surely are, it is an inescapable fact that, for unfathomable reasons, we allow cats to roam freely across our homes and gardens – and also allow them to roam freely across our neighbours’ homes and gardens, without even giving our neighbours a choice in the matter – in a way that we do not allow dogs (or other pets) to roam.

Other pets such as:

• Hamsters
• Gerbils
• Rats
• Snakes
• Ponies

I think this behaviour is breedism* and, being a society of equals, believe that we should be working to stamp out this in-built favouritism towards members of the feline race.

We should encourage our hamsters to roam across the countryside.

What’s wrong with allowing our dogs – or our ponies – to wander hither, thither, and indeed yon, across the land, gardens and indeed properties of our neighbours?

How could establishing these equalities be anything other than a good – and fair – goal for the higher forms of life?

It couldn’t.

Obv.

Therefore we need to establish an Equal Rights for Animals movement.

The ERfA could encourage all pet owners to give their gerbils, hamsters, rats, dogs, ponies – and indeed pet crocodiles – the same freedom of movement that cat-owners grant their fluffy little felines.

This objective would be a fair and wonderful thing for society to achieve.

It’s time that all pet owners (and their pets) were granted the same liberté, égalité, and fraternité that Tiddles has solely enjoyed for far too long.

Let’s stamp out this breedism*.

And allowing our pets to have the same amount of freedom on the ground, obviously extends to allowing our pets to have the same amount of freedom in the air.

Yes indeed.

I look forward to similar amusing videos of dogs, ponies, pet crocodiles and even tame snakes having the same amount of freedom as this little feline:

*breedism, noun
: unfair treatment of an/other creature(s) because of their species; especially : unfair treatment of all animals who are not cats