Not ‘Merrily On High’. And also not to be said in a Leslie Philips cadish kind of way. It’s the bells, the bells (you can say that like Quasimodo if it’ll make you feel any better. Not that I’m saying you don’t feel good in the first place. Or in the second place. Or in any other places. I’ll stop now).
We have a super-dooper digital WiFi-type doorbell. There’s a push-button jobbie (and yes, I know what a jobbie is in Billy Connolly’s world, but we don’t occupy that place right now) on the front door area which visitors and callers operate. Then there’s a receiver plugged in to a power socket (one that rarely gets used). The notion is that the push-button jobbie makes the receiver go ‘ding dong’. Simples, right?
Well the receiver can be programmed to make all manner of noises (and yes, I mean ‘noises’). It’s currently programmed to be all festive and play the first few bars of a Christmas Carol. I love it. It’s kind of an anti-Christmas message being played in an ironic way. Not that I’m anti-Christmas, I’m just enjoying the post-modern humour of it all.
Anyway.
The receiver is plugged in to a low-set double-socket. One outlet gets used for Henry (the vacuum cleaner, in case you were wondering which member of the family Henry is). The other outlet doesn’t get used at all which is why the receiver occupies it. The problem is the four very waggly tails in this house, and the selection button on the receiver being a) very large, and b) at waggly tail height.
During a bit of doggy tomfoolery about a week ago, a waggling tail (or possibly more than one waggling tail) struck the very large selection button on the receiver and a werewolf did that loud and long werewolf howl that werewolves do. Well after moments of hilarity during which I laughed very much and all four dogs ran around the house looking for the werewolf to play with, we quickly forgot about it.
Yesterday someone pressed the push-button jobbie (it was a pukka caller and not some random person just walking by the house exercising their intent to press push-button jobbies) and the werewolf howled and the dogs freaked out and there was much hilarity. However (and despite the hilarity) I was given my orders to change the doorbell ‘noise’ away from that of the werewolf howling.
Well I have carried out my orders. The receiver is now back to playing a Christmas Carol when the push-button jobbie is pressed. But the dogs still go mental and not because it’s a Christmas Carol, but because it’s the doorbell.
I need to set aside some time to go through all of the tunes and other noises that the receiver will play. I think there might be fun ahead.
I do like the werewolf idea. I’d do that.
But, we don’t have an expensive doorbell.
In fact, we don’t have any doorbell.
What we have, is an Alsation dog with a VERY loud bark, who goes absolutely ape-shit any time anyone comes within six-feet of the front door.
It works for us.
The spanners do the apeshit thing too. It’s a brilliant cacophony of noise: doorbell, spaniels barking x4, people telling the spaniels to be quiet (1), people telling the people telling the spaniels to be quiet not to tell the spaniels to be quiet (1). It all goes off when someone pushes the button.
I am reminded of Wes Harrison. If you don’t know him, seek out his album. It’s ace. I had the tape as a teenager and wore it out. I think I have the CD somewhere now.
On the topic of inappropriate noises, I once had a near miss. In order that I not dehydrate, I use an app to remind me to drink water, as well as tracking how much I drink. I thought it was an ace idea to set the reminder tone to Father Jack exclaiming “Feckin water!” (from the one with the leaky roof). This day, I was in the drive through at KFC and had been handed my order, which was followed with the usual (and, I think, pointless) “Is there anything else?” I answered “no, thank you” and drove off, but had I been about 10 seconds later, Father Jack would have answered for me!
I laughed at what could have been, but did not change the sound until I was in the middle of a (quiet) department store when it went off. I don’t know if those near me understood the words, but several heads did turn!
Of course I know who Wes ‘sound effects’ Harrison is! He’s a bit of a leg end. Erm. Legend. I do like the idea of Father Jack alerts. I might play with some audio… 🙂