Smug

Engaging smug mode… smug mode engaged

Yes alright, I’m not Kryten and this isn’t Red Dwarf but…

There’s something deliciously bad – and I really mean very bad – about catching people out and rubbing their noses in it.

Not in a bad way though.

Well not too bad.

I’ll explain.

This evening I arrived at the yard, took the lorry out for a run and fuelled it up ready for tomorrow’s trip out.

The drive from the yard to the petrol station is down approximately 2 miles of (very!) single-track country lane.

You know the kind of thing… very windy, twisty, turny, no real passing points and hedges waaaay to tall for car drivers to see what might be coming at them from around the corner.

Off we set, me and the 10-ton lorry, down the lane at a reasonable 20mph.

The first car came bombing around the corner towards us at about 60mph. Their speed was puzzling (at this point) because I knew the driver must have seen my headlights. I wondered why s/he didn’t slow down – as I had been doing.

The car came hammering around the corner way too fast for any kind of country lane (but, ironically, within the National Speed Limit of 60mph that local and central government seems to feel is appropriate for such lanes!) and came face-to-face with a 10-ton lorry filling the width of the lane.

The driver slammed his/her brakes on. Their brakes locked, the car went in to a slightly sideways skid and came safely to a halt about 12 feet in front of me.

I sat there waiting for the driver to sort herself out then she reversed about 100 metres in to a field gateway to permit me to pass.

As I crawled slowly past I wanted to wind the window down and suggest that the driver went on a course to learn how to drive in country lanes in wet conditions – and also suggest that large pieces of motorised machinery are actually quite common in the English countryside.

I wanted to but I didn’t, I bottled out.

Because as I began to come level with the vehicle I could see it was a marked police car and the driver was in uniform.

But let’s be clear – no flashing lights or siren – just another townie driver treating the country lanes as if they’re A-roads.

I’ve observed how police officers drive around country lanes – even when they’re not on their way to emergency calls. Much, much too quickly and with no regard for countryside probabilities.

I’d like to say that was the only such encounter this evening but I can’t. On the return trip to the garage seven cars came screaming around corners at me, only for the drivers to have minor myocardial infarctions at the size of the monster completely blocking the lane in front of them.

I wish I knew what the answer was. The question is obvious: How can we stop people driving through country lanes as if they were dual-carriageway A-roads.

But the answer to the question…

Eludes me completely.

But – to go back to the beginning – it did make me feel smug to see the way these drivers panicked. I’d like to think they went home wiser people this evening.

Somehow I doubt it though. The use of the word Wisdom implies an ability to learn. I’m not sure any of the drivers I encountered this evening have that – which is a real shame because in the words of the prophet: “You live and learn. Or you don’t live much longer.”

I know I’ve tagged this entry under ‘Driving’ but the reason I’m having this rantette is because it could have been daylight. And instead of driving my large, almost-armoured vehicle I could have been riding my completely-unarmoured horse.

Think about that for a moment please. 🙁

Thanks.

B.