I know a likeable, personable, articulate, young (23yo) guy. He is an ideas factory. Concepts come to him as easily as girls didn’t come to me when I was young, free and single.
I admire his creativity and the energy and enthusiasm with which he propels his ideas along.
I also love that he brings his ideas to me. Everything that’s popped in to his head has been flashed across my radar for approval, steering and advice. I kind of love him a little bit for this. But only in a good, wholesome way. He has no need to bring me his concepts, he just does.
I always try to be straight with my opinion. I might temper my language, shape how I’m going to say something, but the message, whatever my opinion on the concept, remains clear. I can be extremely positive, guardedly positive, cautious – it doesn’t matter.
Whatever my position on an idea, I always try to add my thinking to the mix; try to introduce some of the experience and knowledge (practical or academic) that I have gained as I’ve trundled through life. Two heads, etc.
His latest idea for an unusually functional piece of internet-based activity has a lot of merit. I can see that some way down the line there are big things to be straightened out, but the concept looks sound.
‘Can I send you my marketing document,’ he asked earlier this week. ‘I’m running out of words and you can only do copy and paste so many times.’ Naturally I said ‘yes’.
What arrived was a Word document, 5 pages, 500 words.
‘Who is the audience?’ was my first question.
‘Marketing people.’
‘OK, but who?’
‘B&Q, Virgin Media, BT, Tesco, PC World.’
‘And how complete do you reckon this document is?’
‘About a third of the way.’
‘And just to be clear, the target is the chief marketing officer/manager in each of these corporations?’
‘Yes’
How do you do it? How do you say that the chances of anyone in that position in those corporation making it halfway down the first page of a 15-page document is nil?
How do you say ‘I’ve read what you’ve written and after five pages you haven’t spelt out what the concept is. Or shaped, for the reader, how it is going to work?’
And how do you do these things without smothering his enthusiasm?
This is an illustration of the gaps in his knowledge. That you can just ‘ring a blue-chip, get the name of the top honcho (honchoess) in Marketing, email through a 15-page brochure then sit back and wait for him (her) to beat a path to your door,’ because a) it exposes a depth of knowledge best categorised as ‘slim to none’ and b) is not going to work.
Unless I’ve missed my boat, the top honcho (honchoess) in Marketing in blue-chips are likely to be working flat-out; definitely five days-a-week, possibly six.
And his/her email device is likely to be the corporate Crackberry or iPhone – most probably accessed while in BAU or Dev projects, to distract from the tedium of something that actually isn’t his/her BAU.
What I did was roughed out a quick plan:
- Find out who the head honcho (honchoess) is
- Write a script that is edited down to the minimum amount of words but gets YOUR NAME and the main message in
- Call him/her until you make contact
- Follow up the contact with an ultra-brief email to confirm what you’ve talked about
- Send a slimmed-down document: size: 1 page A4 folded (is that A5? I get confused) which does a brief intro to the concept, lays functionality out in bullet points and gives the highlights on costs/penetration/predictions
- Follow that up three/four days later with another phone call, arrange to go and see him/her and do a high-level presentation in person
That was my initial plan.
Unfortunately, this time, what I had hoped to be constructive criticism seems to have been taken the wrong way.
I was only trying to help!
Personally I blame The Apprentice, because it leads people to think the real world works in that way, and it doesn’t.
As you know, I’m not a Marketing Head Honcho – but I am/was the head of development for several small, medium to f*cking huge organisations and I get the deep joy of people trying to pitch ideas to me in an effort to convince us to expend lots of time and cash developing their next big idea.
To succeed you need to:
* Be brief. If you can’t get my attention on the first page it’s unlikely I’ll be scrolling down much further; I have stuff to do that is earning me money right now.
* Don’t attach a long Word document and especially don’t attach a PowerPoint document. I will assume it’s a virus. Point me to an online link for a slide show that I can tell is safe. If you have an attachment then the body of your email will have to be stonkingly good for me to trust it – and I’ll probably still not trust it which is why I have not had a computer virus for a very very long time.
* Pictures are good. Pretty pictures are gooderererer. Pretty pictures that convey no information other than a stock photo of a ‘babe’ (male/female) with a pen or (shudder) peering over a 1990s computer screen tell me you’re marketing vapor. A few pictures/screen mock-ups maximum are a good thing. Substance is everything, verbiage is mist in the wind.
* Don’t insult me by using phrases that imply you think I am an idiot to turn away a ‘golden opportunity’. I’m busy, a lot of people want me to do stuff and make them rich. I want to be rich(er) but I don’t necessarily want to be famous or liked by anyone other than my bank manager. If you didn’t need me or think I have something for you then why did you write to me? I’m allowed to be a git or a bit terse, sorry.
* S h o r t and t o t h e p o i n t. If you have lots and lots of technical details, legalese, etc – join the 21st C and put it online somewhere and spell out the link in full. Shortened (e.g. bit.ly, owl.ly, tinyurl) links make it look like a virus/trojan.
* Spell check and grammar check the things you send. I am an arrogant grammar git (and poet in my spare time). I *will* look down on you from my lofty pedestal with scorn if your use of English is rubbish. Write like you are smart and people will think you’re smart – but use language appropriately. If you overcook the jargon and flowery multi-syllable style the meaning will become lost – it’s enough to spell it properly and have correct capitalization with punctuation in the right places. Write like a 13 year old sending a text message and no-one will read your great idea and will click the “mark as spam” button. I can’t emphasize this enough: read it over and over again and maybe get someone else to check it for errors – word blindness affects everyone (or Failblog would cease to exist).
Other things to think about: Brennig is extremely experienced in such matters; take advice from winners. We can learn from our peers with the right selection – a drunken meat packer slumped on a bar stool might not be the best guy to advise on pitching high tech ideas even if he is “better at email stuff” than you. Run the idea past people who have succeeded in your chosen area; what do they think? Be careful, business is a place where some people will rob your ideas. Scruples are seen as a weakness by some people so they reject the concept entirely.
Also, don’t give up too easily. A “no” in one direction might just mean the idea was wrong for that person. Listen to their feedback, act on it but in the end trust your convictions.
Oh, and if it’s a really cool idea for a computer program…run past me first, I could do with a new car… 🙂
Yes, half of A4 is A5.
Jeez… I was properly amazed with Ian B’s response. It was proper comprehensive. I have to agree though – I can’t stand long reports. In fact I never read them.
I far prefer a verbal synopsis, a bit of a debate, and then have a contract drawn up.
It is a sad fact of life in business that everything ultimately needs to end up in writing. Protects my butt and yours……!
Amazingly comprehensive responses are my forté 😉
Ironic really, considering my big chunk of words was really intended to suggest to others that they should say less…
i think you should have punched him in the face.
and called his mum a fucking slag.
while masturbating over a crumpled photo of IanB.
It’s true, I am very photogenic and as you know yourself, can invoke an overwhelming desire in many a grown man – even when only available in crumpled photographic form.
Ian; thanks for your thoughts. Very similar to mine. The successful delivery of a good idea can sometimes be more difficult than having the idea. Cheers.
Allister; thanks for that. My brain sometimes… Well… you know.
Annie; Even when Ian’s response is brief, his thinking is always comprehensive.
Oh God. Danny Rhymez and Matty B are out of the Young Offenders Institute. But not for long. Probably.