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How far would you go? [nudge nudge, wink wink]

How far would you go to get home on time? And what’s your worth to the rest of us?

This story about a returning-from-holiday aviation mechanic who, when he heard the aircraft that was due to fly everyone back to the UK had developed a fault, stepped up, volunteered his services and repaired the airplane, made me sit back and think.

What, I wondered, would be my skills that could be called upon in an emergency?

‘Is there a technical project manager in the house?’ That’s an emergency call that isn’t very likely to happen, is it?

But ‘Is there a battlefield-trained medic here?’ Yeah, that’s got some value. If the victim is suffering from a major shrapnel wound or is oozing his (or her, these injuries aren’t that choosy) intestines through a hip-to-shoulder abdominal slash, then I’m your man.

How about ‘Is there a former electronic intelligence officer with a security clearance greater than the Prime Minister here?’ Nah, that’s not terribly useful, is it?

How about ‘A Class One Marksman able to take out a moving target with a headshot? At night? From 250m?’ Well, I’ll concede it’s a skill unlikely to be called on in the departure lounge of Menorca airport, but hey, it’s an attribute that’s cheered me up in my most people-hating moments.

‘Let me through I’m an aircraft engineer and I’m rated on this aircraft type’ wins, in this instance.

‘Let me through I’m a doctor’ would probably come a close second.

But I do wonder where, in the World Rankings of Usefulness the phrase ‘Let me through I’m an MP’ would score?

What would be your call to step in to the breach?

8 thoughts on “How far would you go? [nudge nudge, wink wink]”

  1. “Quick! Is there anybody here who can give unsolicited opinions which may or may not have any relevance?” I’d be so all over that one!

  2. We need someone who cake bake cakes and naughtie things right now and a good slap up ‘Masterchef’ meal.
    Yeah really handy but i think that might be me.
    or
    We need someone to create something outta nothing and make it look pretty. Yeah that might be me also. I have a bit of an inventer in me that can just be quite useful. But not in a disarster.

  3. Hmmmm. I could use a marksman at work. Ahem!

    I think my only truly valuable ‘in a situation skill’ would be hard to offer. It seems I am a dab hand at translating disagreements into agreements. So, perhaps when the passenger who has just boarded the bus is having a stand-up argument with the driver and holding up all the passengers, I could pitch in and save everyone some time. But then there are some folk who just can’t be told. Then I’d want the marksman for backup. Always with the contingency, you see. 🙂

  4. If anyone is calling for a bad tempered, sarcastic wench then I’ll be straight up to offer my services. Or if there’s a dire emergency that requires a neat painting job on a plastered wall, again I would be handy.

  5. I don’t think ‘Let me through, I can play “Over the Rainbow” on the alto saxophone pretty damn well’ is going to have much sway…

  6. “Let me through, I’ll translate” would be more impressive if it wasn’t mostly limited to French / English.

    But, yeah, I’m not holding my breath for the day when someone will call “Is there a computer science / maths researcher in the audience?”.

    On the other hand, if you need someone who has an good sense of orientation and is excellent at reading maps, call me.

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