Well that’s it. As of right now, I rattle around in this house by myself. Even Dog has left me. Still, on the good side…
Category: Stuff
When is a parked car not a parked car?
Don’t you just hate inconsiderate bastard parkers? You know the sort. They’re the ones who are either so completely stuffed up their own arse, that
An apology from the management
It appears that I have been so busy dealing with personal stuff, that I have neglected my blogging duties. This is, obviously, unacceptable. Therefore normal
Change of status
Relationship = single
Objects in the rear-view mirror may appear closer than they are*
Mankind has been evolving (unless one believes the branch of science fiction that calls itself ‘religion’) for tens of millions of years. In that time
Nerding over the NAS
Some time ago I bought a Network Attached Storage unit (NAS). This little baby, if you’re interested. As well as the usual RAIDed, WiFi-enabled storage
Wales for the Welsh! (and the ducks)
I drove to Wales, yesterday, to do some filming. The trip down there (M4, A4042) was a breeze; there were only about 40 morons on
Them’s the breaks, kiddo. Them’s the breaks
I called my GP today to ask how the X-Ray results looked. The conversation went a little like this: Me: So how do the pictures
The morning after
I’m having flashbacks from last night’s wedding party. There was *cough* a moderate amount of alcohol. And dancing (to use a one-word description of what
Same song, different tune
ATTENTION PARENTS! When you are in a public place with your offspring, you need to remember a simple set of rules: You own that fucking
Elvis has left the building!
Daughter is, by now, back on terra firma, 1,000 miles away from here. Bitter. Sweet. I shall miss her. Having her around every day? There
NATO/OTAN. Time to pull the plug
Of my time in the Royal Air Force, I spent four and a half years serving in Number 4 Wing of NATOs Second Allied Tactical
A flying visit
So. Daughter is here. I drove up to East Midlands Airport to collect her. She looked slightly confused at some of the social differences between
It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it
It was about 11.15 when I went to bed last night. Fast asleep by 11.30. Wide awake at 12.15, knowing that something – not sure
Visit prep, cinema, horses and other randomnesses
Next Saturday, Daughter (ooh, three consecutively capitalised words, there’s a name for that but I can’t think what it is right now) will be arriving
Review of Radio 1’s ‘Fun & Filth’ Cabaret?
Sorry? You’re looking for a set of hand-crafted, lovingly assembled reviews of BBC Radio 1’s Fun and Filth Cabaret in Edinburgh? Click here to find
Clearing out
Over the last three years my feed aggregator – Google Reader – has become two things. It has become a hideously expanded mass of websites
When I were a lad…
I used to do all my writing on an Adler manual typewriter. That sounds a bit grand, so here’s some context. I was a ten-year
And now, over to the big orange dog
another horse-related post, sorry about that! Firstly, and totally unsurprisingly, Soldier has been sold. Secondly, Vin – the 16.2hh sicknote pony who thinks he’s just
Stunning, talented, fantastic horse for sale
Update: Enjoying a new home, almost instantly. I haven’t been paid for this. I’m just putting this information in to the market/google for
Roadkill, waiting to happen
I am coming to loathe the A34. Stupid fucking car drivers who could not pass a test tomorrow if their lives depended on it. Inconsiderate
No nannies here!
The very next time anyone – whether a Daily Mail writer/reader or not – says that we live in a ‘nanny state’, please refer him/her/them
‘Ullo John, got a new motor?
Ullo John gotta new motah Ullo John gotta new motah They put me in a special hospital They put me in a special hospital Is
A funny thing happened on the way to the forum
Wasn’t that a Zero Mostel film? Starred Buster Keaton and, erm, Michael Crawford? And maybe Phil Silvers? I’m going to have to flip over to
Insert something witty here
Hello! How are you? How are things? What’s new? I’ve been mental. But you knew that already. On Sunday I had a fun fun fun day,
I started out with nothing and I’ve still got most of it left
I was going to publish part one (of three) of the new writing project. I’ve chickened out. It’s good and yet it isn’t. I bloody
Supermassive black hole
I have been unwell. I will spare you the hideously graphic details, I’ll just say that there have been eruptions. In other news. Last week I bought
Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Shamelessly stolen from DYAC.
Taking my brain but leaving something cleverer
I have to write a thing. A very focussed, incisive business thing. It has to, briefly, summarise a complex situation, it must list the alternatives
Clearing up the left-overs
We’ve been busy, the last couple of days, cleaning up the debris from Friday night’s inaugural ‘Witney Music Festival’. WitFest, for short. It was a
Facebook fail
Think about what’s being said here…
Unsocial networking
LinkedIn. Seriously, what’s the point of it? It’s just another channel through which recruitment consultants can send me spam. I’m thinking of bailing out of
Uppers and downers
I have just performed a magic trick. I spent half an hour in the kitchen making a meal. And then I sat on the couch
People get paid to be this bad?
Seriously. What’s wrong with this survey question? I don’t want to use the phrase ‘constructed by numbskulls’. No matter how appropriate that phrase may be.
I wish I was a social secretary
Some parents moan about how they have to service their offspring’s hectic social lives. Family cars bearing notices such as ‘Dad’s Taxi Service’ and ‘Unpaid
Let the birds have it
As one of Witney’s leading vegetarianists, I’m often stopped in the street and asked for my views on animal cruelty. ‘Oh, I’m all for it’,
What’s the real story here?
Daily Telegraph headline: Pregnant Lily Allen marries in country church Is it: That Lily Allen is pregnant? That Lily Allen has got married? That Lily
Lip up fatty
On 14th July it’ll be the next Oxford Band Practice. This month we’ll be working on ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol, ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’
Planned loss of service
The A420, the Oxford to Bristol (via Swindon) trunk road is closed this week – closed between Farringdon and Swindon. It’s a scheduled road closure.
Trade descriptions complaint
Dear Meridian Tonight. You have just described an event as a ‘naked bike ride’. And yet the footage you screened clearly showed a crocodile of
Stupid surveys written by stupid people
I do surveys. The latest landed in my inbox today, and question 11 is a prime example of a survey written by a seven-year old.
Collecting things as I walk about
We three Kings of orient are One in a bus and one in a car One on a scooter beeping his hooter Following Ringo Starr….
A real post from a real person
Look. I’m sorry, ok? I know you’re getting fed up with the ‘I haven’t written anything because I am just *so* busy’ line of excuses.
It’s what the internet was invented for
Videos of mummy cats cuddling kittnens who are having bad dreams, obv:
One city, two tales
I’ve taken this news story from the BBC and rearranged some of the paragraphs to highlight the two versions of this story. Version A: Queen
Testing – in theory
Prompted by a comment from Sally in the White Van Man post, in which she asks how I did with my Driving Theory and Hazard
Nothing wrong at all
The last couple of days I’ve been feeling worse than down. Angry. Annoyed. Frustrated. A bit of rage. And just a touch depressed. For no
White van man
This is the first film shot from the new, reverse angle. I wish I drove as well as these two. Oh, wait. No I don’t.