Hiiiiiiiiii…. (fake smile)
How are you? Mwah, mwah. It’s been simply ages darling. You look gorgeous as usual. Was it really two weeks ago when I sat down
It’s been a weird 24 hours
People who know me/us will know that on a Friday evening we usually order in a couple of pizzas, make cups of tea, put on
A day in the life of an Oxford Tube commuter
Morning: It’s the first working day of August 2009 and we’re flying down the M40 towards London. It’s about 06.40 and we’ve just gone past
I am not doing that again
which is a silly fucking statement to make because i made it several weeks ago, but somehow i got talked in to doing it by
And now, to bed
This is a late one for us – 23.55- and we’re still going strong! We’ve just got back from dinner with friends in Oxford; it’s
We should write scripts
I’ve often said that Soph and I should write scripts together; we live in a sitcom. When she came downstairs this morning and told me
It was a clash of Titans
The spry, sprightly and slightly caffeine-hyped young woman dragged her husband from his near-death-bed, where he was recovering from a v. serious illness, and threw
Backing up
beep beep beep No, not the kind of backing up that one might do in a vehicle of some description. Backing up your data. I
So I am still here
At home. Not ‘still here’ as in the slogan that one of my T-Shirts bears: ‘Not Dead Yet’. Although, coincidentally, I am actually ‘not dead
Grumpy guy goes to bed
I can’t hack it. It’s 21.15 and I’ve got to throw in the towel and rock up them stairs with a mug of tea and
Literary grumpiness
obviously, being unwell doesn’t agree with my sunny disposition; no gerbils were harmed in the writing of this piece When an author, you know, actually
It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes. Again
It is 09.02 Monday and I am at home. I have the day off because of a long-standing hospital appointment; nothing serious, the medical specialists
And the bad girls and boys are back
Email consters are starting to think a little bit. But just a little. Those ‘I need to move £68 squillion through your bank account from
They’re messing with your head
OK, on television a couple of minutes ago was an Advertorial from the company formerly known as Ulay but now bizarrely rebranded as Olay. Almost
And the weekend starts… right here!
So it’s Thursday evening. Soph and I are ankle-deep in sleeping bags, rucksacks, quick-drying towels, cutlery and the usual bits and bobs that accompany a
A question no-one seems to be asking
This may offend someone. Tough. I’ve had a shit day. How is it that Michael Jackson (d’cd), a black man who may have had a
Selfish fucking cunting people
This one reason makes me hate people more than almost any other. I get on the coach, I go to the nearest table and it
How far would you go? [nudge nudge, wink wink]
How far would you go to get home on time? And what’s your worth to the rest of us? This story about a returning-from-holiday aviation
Even more grump going on
I’ve just twittered and feel so unsatisfied by it I feel compelled to ellaborate. The tweet was: “Really really f*ck*ng grumpy. Totally f*ck*ng got the
Another cup of grump, anyone?
Maybe be it’s me. Maybe I’m wrong when I think that we’re becoming a more self-centred, less caring society. I mean, I dislike intolerance as
And we’re back in 5, 4, 3, 2…
Hello, welcome back! [canned audience applause] Before the break we were speaking to John and Donny about their gay love for each other and how
Tax disc Win! (eventually)
A few weeks ago an envelope from the DVLA dropped through the letter box. Inside was not one, but two reminders. The first reminded me
Working with people, ha ha ha (apols to Roddy Doyle)
this is a purely hypothetical situation Wouldn’t it be funny if after weeks of System Testing and then weeks of User Acceptance Testing during which
A Very Rude Awakening
It’s been a hell of a day but before I fall in to bed and wait for Soph to (eventually) return from the ramparts of
There is a light that will never go out
[beware the google traps] Do you remember that an uninsured driver recently hit my car with three aluminium ladders when they were swept off the
Meanwhile, back at pony central…
Vin (who has managed to tug off one of his shoes as a sign of protest) has a new friend. Due to one of those
Why UPS sucks more than a Big Sucky Thing
Today, ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to talk about the functional requirements of websites – but we’re going to look at them from the perspective
Before I go to bed
I just need to get a few things off my chest. 1. The BBC headline ‘West Bromwich in debt deal talks‘. Why couldn’t the BBC
Working from home
Many people have offered their thoughts on today’s London Underground (aka, The Tube) strike. Here’s my own look at this particular aspect of the world
Too much hyperbole is a Very Bad Thing
There’s a guy sitting opposite reading a book. I’ve just caught sight of the title: The Greatest Game Ever Played (Mark Frost). And the subject
Exotic food?
There’s a restaurant in Notting Hill called Tequilla Tex-Mex. And the special of the day in this fine American/Mexican eatery? Paella. 🙂
I wouldn’t be paranoid if they weren’t out to get me…
Someone somewhere is out to get me today. There is a tube strike in London. Whilst I have a fleeting pang of compassion towards my
There was a tap on the door
He’s a peculiar bloke, our plumber… Yes, I apologise for the old gag. Having eaten our tea we were about to sit and (her) watch
Have you seen it yet?
The brand new podcast website? http://thisrealitypodcast.com Keep an eye on it, there are going to be some give-away albums coming up soon. Please pass it
The Hardest Part of This is Leaving You
The annoying little bastard boy in the seat behind wants to die. Not a big deal as things go. I believe we should all have
Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 1
If music be the food of love, play on… This week’s podcast contains music from four exceptional Oxfordshire bands; very talented musicians who you should
A woman gets on the bus
no, not an incredibly sexist joke Victoria, the starting point of the homeward leg: The woman got on the bus and, in heavily-accented Eastern-European English
Why am I so knackered?
So today, Friday, I got up at 04.45 and did stuff and went to work and finished and came back to Oxfordshire and drove to
Getting felt
No, not a synonym for touching cotton So I was in the Westminster tube station at 12.59. There was more human traffic around than usual
This is weirdly random but…
I was just wondering how many folk hereabouts hang out within striking distance of Hyde Park? Because… In my head this morning is the weirdly
What Twitter needs…
A user-defined filter which filters on the server not in the client. Genius!
A funny thing happened on the way to the office
Warning: there may be instances of severe bad language in this post. This post has been edited because some browsers couldn’t cope with the table
Con artist Fail
This email rolled in to my gmail account: You have been choosen By the Board of trustees of the UNITED NATIONS as a winner of
Not sinning today
Yesterday’s slip in to the fiery pit of hellfirefood could only have been drug-related. It was the sun (or something in it). The serotonin or